


Knowledge Badge

by dapatty, somnolentblue



Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Community: pt-lightning, Gen, Libraries, MLS not required, PT-Lightning Challenge: Round 2, information professionals, librarian recruitment techniques
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-01
Updated: 2014-02-01
Packaged: 2018-01-09 17:52:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1149039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dapatty/pseuds/dapatty, https://archiveofourown.org/users/somnolentblue/pseuds/somnolentblue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Intern Brad regrets getting out of bed this morning.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Knowledge Badge

**Author's Note:**

> A [pod together lightning project](http://pt-lightning.dreamwidth.org). Podfic by [dapatty](http://dapatty.dreamwidth.org) and text by [somnolentblue](http://somnolentblue.dreamwidth.org).
> 
> Author's notes: I'd like to thank dapatty for joining me for this project and being a delightful (and enthusiastic!) partner as it took shape. Working on this with her was full of fun and giggles. Cheers!
> 
> Podficcer's notes: I would like to thank somnolentblue for being SO DOWN with writing about both Night Vale and Librarians. It was a romp! ♥ ♥ ♥

  
**Download Links:** (Right Click, Save As) [mp3](http://podfic.jinjurly.com/audfiles/292014020103.zip) | [m4b](http://podfic.jinjurly.com/audfiles/292014020104.zip)

Brad yawned and stared at the infinity wall, one hand clutching a coffee mug and the other skritching a purring Skotos, who was hovering at chest high this morning. He knew that interns got stuck with the grunt work, but, really, was there any reason that it had to be done at six in the morning instead of at midnight? He should be closing his day with a nice ritual sacrifice (three drops of blood, two cups of hemlock, one bell-shaped cube of ice; shake well, strain into a tumbler, and gulp quickly when the smoking stops), not opening it, ugh. 

Thuds echoed through the room. Really, couldn't the neighbors at least have the courtesy to pretend not to mock him and his enforced mornings?

A cheery rat-a-tat-tat reverberated through his head. The fuck?

He dragged himself to the door, banging his shin on the interdimensal vortex and sloshing his coffee over his appendage (Skotos can stop smirking, smug creature, why did the most wretched of Khoshekh's kittens move in), and undid the locks. It swung open.

"Hello, dear!" the librarian chirped. "I'm here about your application!" 

He blinked. A librarian.

"To be a librarian, of course! I must say, the hiring committee was very impressed, and you did submit it at a fortuitous moment. After that business with @{#@$}, well, we decided that it was time for fresh blood. We're so happy to initiate you!"

Wait, a librarian was talking to him. Intelligibly.

"Oh, dear, I'm sorry. Of course you're overwhelmed by the opportunity! Isn't it amazing! Librarianship! Greet the future!"

By Grapthar's mighty fucking hammer, a librarian was calling him a librarian. "But by-laws, I adhered to all the by-laws," he said. "The station precludes all other appointments as a conflict of interest, so I didn't apply anywhere else once the oracles said I'd get the internship. My vows, they said, they said something about neutrality and the threat of--" his voice drops to a whisper "--hummingbirds." 

"Oh, sweetie, of course you adhered to your oaths! But you did put in for your knowledge badge with your Scout leader! You're the first person in a decade to meet the requirements; we were so impressed! We do keep an eye out for likely candidates -- after all, we wouldn't take just anyone, we're very selective -- and then you topped your cherry with information gathering for the station! We were so proud, although, shhh, of course we don't favor any candidates over any others."

The librarian winked.

Brad gulped his coffee.


End file.
